This Mom Lost Custody Of Her Children After Leaving Ultra-Orthodox Community | Megyn Kelly TODAY

By | September 13, 2019


>>>BORN AND RAISED IN AN ULTRAORTHODOX COMMUNITY IN BROOKLYN, SHE WAS INTRODUCED TO HER FUTURE HUSBAND WHEN SHE WAS 18 YEARS OLD. BEFORE SHE KNEW IT, THEY WERE MARRIED. AND SHE KNEW NOTHING ABOUT SEX OR ANYTHING OF THE SECULAR WORLD. HER JOURNEY FROM A COMPLETELY ISOLATED COMMUNITY TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD, WAS CAPTURED IN A NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY CALLED “ONE OF US” AND CAN ONLY BES HARROWIU HERE’S HER STORY.>>I’M 34 YEARS OLD. I LEFT THE COMMUNITY IN 2016. IT NEVER WAS MY INTENTION TO LEAVE. I LEFT BEHIND EVERYTHING. MY COMMUNITY, MY JOB, MY FAMILY. I THINK THE HARDEST WAS LEAVING MY CHILDREN. I LEFT BEHIND SEVEN CHILDREN. GROWING UP IN THE COMMUNITY AS A CHILD, IT WAS A POSITIVE EXPERIENCE. IT WAS YOUR WHOLE WORLD. MARRIAGE IS ARRANGED THROUGH A MATCHMAKER. MY SOON-TO-BE HUSBAND WAS STUDYING IN ISRAEL AT THE TIME. HE WAS FLOWN IN. WE MET TWICE, A FEW MINUTES. AND WE GOT ENGAGED. I WAS 18. HE WAS 17. I WAS TOLD ABOUT ALL OF THE RULES AND HOW TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND HAPPY. ZERO SEX TRAINING. AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT SEX WAS. I WAS ENGAGED. I DIDN’T KNOW HOW BABIES WERE BORN. AT 26, I HAD SEVEN KIDS. THE FIRST TIME I FELT I COULDN’T DO THIS, I FELT SUICIDAL WAS JULY 2014. AND I CHECKED MYSELF INTO THE HOSPITAL. I MADE A DECISION THAT I WANTED TO LEAVE MY CHARJ. WHAT I WAS EXPERIENCING AT HOME WAS NORMAL. I WASN’T GOING TO SURVIVE IN THAT MARRIAGE MUCH LONGER. I SHARED WITH HIM, I THINK WE SHOULD SEPARATE. HE WENT CRAZY. HE WENT FROM BEING NICE ABOUT IT, WE’LL MAKE THIS WORK TO I’M GOING TO KILL YOU. I DIDN’T REALIZE AT THAT POINT THE POWER AND THE STRENGTH OF THE COMMUNITY. I WAS A BIT NAIVE. I WENT TO FAMILY COURT. I GOT MY ORDER OF PROTECTION. THEY SERVED IT TO HIM. HE WAS REMOVED. HE HAD TO LEAVE THE HOUSE. WITHIN AN HOUR AFTER HE LEFT THE HOUSE, THERE WERE ABOUT 20 CIRCLING MY HOUSE, BANGING ON THE WINDOWS AND DOORS AND THREATENING TO BREAK DOWN THE DOORS AND TAKE AWAY THE KIDS. THAT WAS JUST THE BEGINNING. I WOULD GO TO THE LOCAL GROCERY STORE AND TOLD I CAN’T BUY GROCERY STORES THERE. I LOST MY JOB AND I LOST THE MONEY. I WAS AFRAID. I GOT AFRAID FOR MY SAFETY AND MY CHILDREN’S SAFETY. I TOOK MY CHILDREN AND LEFT THE COMMUNITY. AND I MOVED INTO AN APARTMENT. THAT WAS THE TURNING POINT WHEN I REALIZED, I DON’T HAVE MONEY FOR AN APARTMENT. I’M CHANGING THE STATUS QUO. I’M TAKING THEM OUT OF THEIR HOMES AND I WAS AT MY BREAKING POINT. AND THERE WAS JUST NO FIGHT LEFT IN ME.>>SHE JOINS US NOW. GREAT TO HAVE YOU HERE. THANK YOU.>>THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.>>YOU WERE RAISED IN HASIDIC COMMUNITY. THAT’S ALL YOU EVER KNEW.>>YEAH.>>IT WAS AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE?>>ABSOLUTELY.>>HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THE MARRIAGE?>>MY EXPERIENCE WAS TYPICAL. I GOT MARRIED VERY YOUNG. I DIDN’T KNOW ANY DIFFERENT.>>I MET HIM TWICE FOR 15 MINUTES. I DIDN’T KNOW HIM PERSONALLY. AND A MARRIAGE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE SOMETHING LIKE LOVE OR SOMETHING LIKE IT WAS SOMEBODY THAT YOU ACTUALLY — YOUR BEST FRIEND. THE REASON TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE CHILDREN WAS TO HAVE A FAMILY. THE FIRST COUPLE OF YEARS IN OUR MARRIAGE WAS LIKE THIS. I WAS IDEALISTIC. TRIED TO BE THE PERFECT WIFE. WENT ABOUT DOING MY THING, TAKING CARE OF THE CHILDREN, WORKING. HE WAS OUT OF THE HOME MOST OF THE TIME, LEARNING. THERE WAS NEVER — I WAS MARRIED FOR 12 YEARS. WE NEVER SAID I LOVE YOU TO EACH OTHER. I DON’T THINK HE KISSED ME. IT WAS A PRACTICAL PART OF OUR LIVES.>>REPRODUCING.>>HAVING CHILDREN.>>SEVEN KIDS IN EIGHT YEARS.>>A LITTLE LESS. SIX YEARS. THERE WERE TWINS.>>YOU WENT THROUGH WHAT A LOT OF WOMEN GOES THROUGH, WHICH IS DEPRESSION. ANOTHER CHILD WOULD COME. AND ANOTHER CHILD WOULD COME. AND YOU DESCRIBED IT, AS THE WATER WAS GETTING UP HERE. IT GAME TO A PLACE WHEN YOU CONSIDERED HARMING YOURSELF.>>YEAH. IN 2014, I HAD MY SIXTH AND SEVENTH WERE A YEAR OLD, I WAS EXTREMELY DEPRESSED AND ANXIOUS. AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THOSE WORDS MET. I NEVER HEARD ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH. I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. AND I HAD A FEAR OF HOW AM I GOING TO RAISE THEM? THERE WAS A FEAR I COULDN’T DO THIS. NOW, I KNOW IT WAS ANXIETY. I DIDN’T HAVE A NAME FOR IT. THE ONLY WAY I WAS ABLE TO EXPRESS MYSELF WAS WITH HURTING MYSELF. IT WAS A POINT WHERE I JUST DIDN’T SEE HOW I WAS GOING TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY WITH THE KIND OF NOT HAVING A HUMAN BEING SIDE OF ME. IT WAS JUST A HOLLOW SHELL.>>GETTING HER OUT OF HER COMMUNITY AND HER MARRIAGE WOULD TAKE A LOT MORE THAN [ APPLAUSE ]>>>WE’RE BACK WITH ETTY WHO MADE THE DECISION TO LEAVE HER FAMILY AND LIVE HER TRUTH. YOU DECIDED TO LEAVE. AS WE HEARD IN THAT TAPED PIECE, THE REACTION YOU SAID WAS SWIFT AND UNIFORM IN CUTTING YOU OFF.>>YEAH.>>THEY DIDN’T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU?>>NO. THE GOAL WAS TO SAVE THE CHILDREN. THEY FELT THAT I HAD SECULAR IDEAS IN MY HEAD BECAUSE I HAD GONE TO A SECULAR COURT. THEY WERE WORRIED THAT I WAS GOING TO SECULARIZE THE CHILDREN. THEIR GOAL AND THE REACTION WAS WE HAVE TO SAVE THE CHILDREN’S SOULS. THAT WAS THE EXCUSE THEY USED, WHERE, YOU KNOW, THEY DON’T WANT ANYTHING THAT WAS NOT RELIGION — ON THEIR LEVEL. GETTING INFILTRATED.>>THE COURT DOCUMENTS SAID SHE GOT CROSS-EXAMINED WHETHER SHE LET THEM WEAR FUZZY SOCKS.>>WITH A SNOWMAN.>>YOU GOT IN TROUBLE. THAT’S A SECULAR THING. AND THE JUDGE RULED YOU LOST CUSTODY OF YOUR SEVEN CHILDREN.>>YEAH. THE CUSTODY WAS — IT’S COMPLICATED AND COMPLEX. BUT IT HAPPENED IN INCREMENTS BECAUSE IT WAS NEVER THIS MOMENT WHEN IT WAS, SHE’S NOT RELIGIOUS, WE’RE TAKING THE CHILDREN AWAY. IT WAS, LET’S GIVE THE KIDS A BREAK BECAUSE WE HAVE — MAYBE SHE’S NOT RELIGIOUS. AND IT HAPPENS SLOWLY OVER TIME. BUT THE COMMUNITY’S POWER AND THE FINANCIAL, YOU KNOW, POWER THEY HAVE IN THE COURT, DEFINITELY PLAYED A STRONG ROLE.>>IN THE DOCUMENTARY, THEY PRODUCE A LETTER, THAT SHOWS THE COMMUNITY ALLEGEDLY WORKING TOGETHER TO MAKE YOU LOSE THAT CASE BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T WANT A PRECEDENT OF SOMEBODY LEAVING AND BEING ABLE TO SECULARIZE THE CHILDREN. ONCE YOU GOT OUT, AND WERE DEALT THIS BLOW, YOU KNOW, SINCE THEN, YOU’VE BEEN WORKING ON YOURSELF, IN EVERY WAY, AND MADE A REALIZATION ABOUT YOURSELF. CAN YOU TELL US WHAT IT IS?>>YEAH. A LOT OF REALIZATIONS. ONE OF THEM WAS I CAME OUT AS G GA GAY. I CAN’T SAY UNEXPECTED BECAUSE OF I HAD NO KNOWLEDGE OF ANYTHING IN THE PAST, IT WAS SOMETHING, AS I WAS FINDING MYSELF AS A HUMAN BEING, I WAS — I DISCOVERED THIS IDEA. IT RESONATED WITH ME. I HAD A VERY DIFFICULT MARRIAGE. AND MY SEXUALITY WAS SOMETHING THAT WAS STRUGGLING IN MY MARRIAGE. AND I KIND OF EMBRACED IT. IT’S GIVEN ME SO MUCH EMPOWER EMPOWERMENT TO BE MY TRUE SELF. I THINK IT’S BEEN A FOUNDATION TO ME, BEING A STRONG PERSON WHO I AM TODAY.>>AMAZINGLY, THERE’S BEEN BACKLASH AGAINST YOU. THEY DIDN’T MENTION THIS IN THE NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY. AND SOME PEOPLE REACTED NEGATIVELY TO YOUR SHARING THAT. TO THOSE WHO QUESTION HOW YOU COULD LEAVE A COMMUNITY IF IT MEANT LOSING YOUR CHILDREN, WHETHER YOUR SEXUALITY WAS AT PLAY HERE, VERSUS YOUR OBJECTION TO THE WAY THE HASIDIC COMMUNITY WAS LIVING, WHAT DO YOU WANT THEM TO KNOW?>>IT WAS TO GET OUT OF A BAD MARRIAGE. THAT WAS MY AGENDA. I CAN’T LIVE IN THIS MARRIAGE ANYMORE. AND EVENTUALLY, AFTER I MADE THAT DECISION I WANTED TO GET OUT OF MY MARRIAGE, IT TOOK A YEAR OF HARASSMENT OF ANYTHING THAT HAD TAKEN AWAY FROM ME. MY JOB, MY CHILDREN, BEING THROWN OUT OF SCHOOL. CAN’T SHOP AT THE GROCERY, CAMERAS AROUND MY HOUSE. I LEFT THE COMMUNITY AND TOOK MY CHILDREN WITH ME. THAT WAS THE MOMENT THEY DECIDED I WAS DISRUPTING THE CHILDREN’S LIVES. IT WAS THIS –>>YOU WERE UP AGAINST IT. AND THERE WAS A JUDGE IN THE CASE WHO WAS FAVORABLE, IT APPEARED, TO THE JEWISH COMMUNITY. WE REACHED OUT TO HER EX-HUSBAND AND LAWYER. THERE IS ONGOING LITIGATION AND

28 thoughts on “This Mom Lost Custody Of Her Children After Leaving Ultra-Orthodox Community | Megyn Kelly TODAY

  1. Cheryl Stewart Post author

    What a horrible interviewer it’s like she is not listening to her properly and rushing her. Then speaks to the camera as if she is not there

    Reply
  2. Carolina V Post author

    Yeah no! Being a lesbian does not empower you. You just dug a deeper hole. Applause, great job.

    Reply
  3. Leslie O'Brien Post author

    I understand Etty’s story: a marriage of convenience (for him); his repeated infidelity; his complete financial control; the sexual struggle I endured that ended the same as Etty’s…..we were members of a controlling, judgmental, paternalistic evangelical community. I had no emotional support. I had come from an abusive childhood that I sought counseling to deal with the deep pervasive depression and what I came to learn was anxiety. I had no way to take care of myself financially, much less the 3 children who had relationships with the woman my husband had been seeing for 3 years behind my back. We lived in a very small town in northern Arizona (7000 population). Everyone kept his secret and supported him. When I decided to leave, I was vilified by my church and my community. My husband hid the children from me with friends, and I had to leave alone with literally less than I came into the marriage with 17 years prior. My children were told I was the same as dead to them and that the new wife -who he married on the anniversary of my leaving home – was their « real » mother. I have since developed a relationship with my oldest daughter. My two younger children, a son and another daughter still have nothing to do with me and it is now 23 years later and my ex-husband has since passed away. I admire Etty’s strength and the desire to find her truth, as I did with my own loving, supportive partner. I can honestly say that I know what it feels like to feel loved and supported by someone who is actually interested in my well-being. All the best to Etty!

    Reply
  4. Rochelle Wertzberger Post author

    Like Etty I am currently experiencing the same parental alienation.

    Reply
  5. Minerva Sanchez Post author

    This is true of many women around the world who are punished for doing the right thing for themselves. How comfortable it must be for men to have the freedom to judge and punish a mother for not feeling safe or happy in her marriage, or for that matter to take her children away from her. After she had them, she loved them, she taught them and looked after them. It blows my mind how easy it is for some men to open their mouth to belittle loyal women when they don't always do right by them. My heart breaks tons for Etty because as a mother myself I couldn't imagine how painful it would be if my child were taken away from me.

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  6. 0906blue Post author

    She lost her children because she is a lesbian which is against the religion that her and her husband agreed upon.

    Reply
  7. rita storm Post author

    Mayim Bialik photo
    https://www.google.com/search?q=Mayim+Bialik&sa=X&stick=H4sIAAAAAAAAAONgFuLUz9U3MKooT09SAjONTdOL0rU4Q8JC8h2TS_KLFrHy-CZWZuYqOGUm5mRmAwDYARyJMgAAAA&biw=1094&bih=506&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=Sg9D1Ut4FENX4M%253A%252C9_gdWTPMMM3ooM%252C%252Fm%252F035grg&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kSt6BLaZjM1tvvAXh2-AvRpChTNYg&ved=2ahUKEwiTi5Kk56DjAhXC0KQKHYBBCsoQ_B0wE3oECAkQAw#imgdii=KetOrgx98Q6bNM:&imgrc=PMm1lyDfe07TzM:&vet=1

    Reply
  8. quitebald Post author

    1) The story told in the documentary "One Of Us" is horrific and should be watched to fully understand what this poor woman endured; 2) Megyn Kelly was a bad hire from the get-go. What a terrible interview. Difficult to even get the essence of the story because Kelly is so unprepared.

    Reply
  9. NC redbird Post author

    This breaks my heart. I've wondered how this turned out after watching this show. Scary to think a person can go through this today due to just leaving such a strict religion. I admire her for doing what makes her happy as going back to the abuse and control wouldn't allow her to be a healthy mother. She should get half custody for her children. As long as they could agree to follow the same decisions based on how their children were raised it would be best for the children above all. Hate when people like this community think they are the only one able to raise a child to their decisions, it's selfish and not in benefit for the children. They need their mother

    Reply
  10. dayna T Post author

    Could she get welfare n keep the seven kids.. they r so beautiful n so is she……xo…..stay stong Lady!!!

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  11. dayna T Post author

    Poor poor Lady…….I know what she went thru….

    Reply
  12. tabraiz KHAN Post author

    HASIDIC JEWS ARE THE BEST PEOLPLE TO LIVE WITH, i am a moslem and have no issues with hasidic jews !!!! HASIDIC JEWS ARE REAL RELIGIOUS PEOPLE WHO ANYONE CAN LIVE WITH!!!!!

    Reply
  13. Mary Jo Mark Post author

    Sad story, but kudos to the mom……she is a strong gal.

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  14. TooShortToTurn SS3 Post author

    Im strangely attracted to her for some reason

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  15. Daniels Mardones Post author

    So glad I'm not jewish even though it is the truth and all other religions are fake. As a jew if you do not keep the commandments , the consequences are worse for them either in this life or in the next.

    Reply
  16. Vonka Abbas Post author

    Another example how religion blinds and f***s people up for the worst.

    Reply

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