Things Catholics Think While In Line For Confession

By | September 5, 2019


*sighs* I wonder how many rosaries I’ll have to
pray THIS time… *frustrated sigh* The DMV is faster than this… If I die right now, will I go to
hell?? Does this sin make my soul look fat? There’s something in here about, “the last
shall be first, the shall be last!” Oh, no! I can almost hear what that person
is saying in their confession! Does this priest have a rating on Yelp? *muttering Hail Marys furiously* *girl sighs* [REAL men cherish their prayer time with Mama Mary #shameonyou] Emily: Could you save the penance until after confession?! David: Have you seen how long this is taking? I gotta get some of these out of the way NOW! *resumes frantic muttering of Hail Mary* *exchanges quiet greetings* What is HE doing here? He never does anything wrong… I wonder what he did…
No, no, focus… pray… *playing phone games with the sound on* [TWO strikes!] Emily: Really?! I wonder if he’ll recognize my voice…
Should I disguise it? Oh no, it’s my turn! *Gollum voice*
Joe: Forgive us, Father, for we have sinned.. um, and it has been.. one-zies, two– no, fives, no, FOUR months-es since our last
confession, yes! *sobbing* *…noisily* *blows nose obnoxiously* *sniffle, sniff, sniffs* Emily: …Sorry. Renée: What did you DO?

100 thoughts on “Things Catholics Think While In Line For Confession

  1. Paulina Ramรญrez Post author

    "If I die right now, will I go to hell?" I ALWAYS THINK THAT WHILE I'M IN LINE HAHAH

    Reply
  2. gab rea Post author

    This is my thought during confession. Always. lol:

    "I wonder if I should confess that thing that I did last night?"
    "Isn't it embarrassing, if I confess it?"

    Reply
  3. Dawid Oleksy Post author

    "Does this sin make my soul look fat?"
    Hahahaha that was the best ๐Ÿ˜€

    Reply
  4. Mateus da Nรณbrega Post author

    Hi, New Catholic Generation! I'm from Brazil and I like so much of your channel. Pray for brazilian people. (My english is not so good)

    Reply
  5. 1050Bridge Post author

    LOL, being Greek Orthodox I can totally relate to all of these thoughts. I don't know much about western confession practices, but is this anonymous interaction with the priest something that is actually expected? In our tradition it is face to face and most of the time (I assume) the priest already knows what I'm going to confess and will even question me about any ongoing issues I have that he is aware of. Also, we usually have someone reading from the Psalter when there is more than one confessing so that nobody hears what is said. Anyways, great video as always and God bless you!

    Reply
  6. Sara S Post author

    1:10!!! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  7. TickedOff Priest Post author

    This is why I go to a priest from a different church than the one I attend.

    Reply
  8. Aeropolitan Flan Post author

    awesome video! sharing with my parishioners. may God bless you.

    Reply
  9. Kathy Glaser Post author

    I'm always thinking "how long has it been since the last time".

    Reply
  10. Chris - Sol Mon Post author

    What happened to the Church Triumphant guy? Is he still allowed into this 'circle' of youth? (I use 'circle' because 'clique' comes across as exclusionary – however, likely applicable)

    Reply
  11. No 1984 For Us Post author

    God already knows your sins and already forgive them… I don't understand this confession, doesn't make sense at all

    Reply
  12. ASR Post author

    Here I am morally obliged to go through all your videos again since last one! (Catholic obligations)
    NOW GIVE MOAR VIDEOS!

    Reply
  13. Jonny Bartsch Post author

    This is too far. Whether you believe it or not, we believe this is a sacrament – an encounter with God. Please don't make fun of it.

    Reply
  14. Ken Daugherty Post author

    "The DMV is faster than this." That may be true, but there's a God you can confess to, and it does NOT require traveling to a Church.

    That's why Christians confess their sins to Jesus Christ, not to some man who does not know your heart – your sins. Stop wasting your life away, and turn to Jesus Christ.

    Just to let you know:

    "Nor is there salvation in ANY OTHER, for there is NO OTHER NAME under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.โ€(Acts 4:12)

    So what name should you trust in? What name did Peter, the so-called first pope of Roman Catholicism, mention who alone saves, and "no other name under heaven" can save.

    TRUTH: Only "the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth," SAVES. (Acts 4:10)

    TRUTH: Everything else is "under heaven [and] given among men." Therefore, the "sacred Tradition" of Roman Catholicism cannot save: and the Magisterium, the "pope and his bishops," they CANNOT save. But sadly, that is what your Catechism says. (Ref. CCC #95)

    This is one sad video. How WRONG you are!

    Reply
  15. Samantha R. Post author

    And does anyone ever think, "if I'm in there too long they will know I had a lot of sins I just unloaded?" Lol. Gotta love confession.

    Reply
  16. John Sakars Post author

    1. "Should I mention I have furiously masturbated to chicks I know for sure are catholic?"

    Reply
  17. Amber Boyt Post author

    hahahahahahahahha I gotta get some of these out of the way now

    Reply
  18. Monique Ocampo Post author

    My thoughts: I need headphones! puts on headphones.

    Reply
  19. Julia Lewis Post author

    one thought of sin and you are dead. And you are all to look real closely at yourselves and get out of my life. panic

    Reply
  20. 2005wsoxfan Post author

    What gets me is the little old lady with the walker who spends 45 minutes in the confessional each week. Not only does she wipe out every one else's time; I have to wonder what the heck could she have done?

    Reply
  21. Hockeyman5509 Post author

    Am I the only one that cries after confession?

    Reply
  22. Liam Post author

    Things catholics think: will the pastor take me from the front or behind today?

    Reply
  23. Giovanni Serafino Post author

    Hey, is the first dude in line really Mr Spock from the old Star Trek series? Didn't think the apostles actually made it to the planet Valcan! LOL

    Reply
  24. Zirious23 Post author

    1. Ok, am I forgetting any sins….
    2. Shoot, I can't remember how many times that was
    3. (At absolution) Father: "God the Father of mercies…"
    Me: Oh no, I just remembered another sin while he's absolving me! But I can't interrupt him! What do I do.

    Reply
  25. Heidi G. Post author

    "Oh no!! It's my turn!" ๐Ÿ˜‚ EVERY TIME! >.< The panicking

    Reply
  26. Joseph Esquivel Post author

    Making the Smeagol voice sounded hilarious

    Reply
  27. Adam Hovey Post author

    Could some of y'all please monitor the comments? Please read what they say.

    Reply
  28. valentina5879 Post author

    "Forgive US father cause WE have sinned" how many people is he representing? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  29. Serapha.Claire.Cosplay Post author

    These videos are amazing XD

    Reply
  30. Ertan YiฤŸit ร–zkaloฤŸlu Post author

    I have never confessed before ๐Ÿ˜… because I think I heard that baptism erases all the other sins we have committed before. And I did bot have my baptism yet

    Reply
  31. 117rebel Post author

    I haven't been to confession since my first confession in 2003. Am I in trouble? Lol

    Reply
  32. Lavorne Williams Post author

    I'm pentecostal and live in the caribbean and we don't do these. Can anyone help shed some light on why people pray to thier priests for forgiveness?please?

    Reply
  33. Ben Vander Ark Post author

    This video makes it clear that even religious folks are bored by church and religion, it's almost like it's a waste of time……

    Reply
  34. Cactus Jack Post author

    From my experience in a catholic High School I can tell you that most though thing (and most talked about in the line) was:

    "Dude. Do I have to tell him I jerked off?"
    "Dude I didn't thought of that. Do we?"
    "Dude, that's not a sin, is it?"
    "Dude, is not. is it?"
    "Duded it is. CRAP"
    "CRAP"

    And so on.

    Reply
  35. Angel Time Post author

    can someone please tell me i really want to know just how sexy a confessional can get. slutty

    Reply
  36. Paul S Post author

    Great channel! My thought is always:. 'why is that old lady staying in there so long……what could she possibly have to confess………. HEY!!!!!!! THERE'S GROWN MEN OUT HERE WITH REAL SINS TO CONFESS!!!!!!!! '

    Reply
  37. Do it Your-selfer Jim Post author

    Oh my GOSHHHH!!! I absolutely HAD to smash a like on this one. So funny

    Reply
  38. Anakin Skywalker Post author

    Is it just me or does Renee look like Jennifer Lawrence except that in this case, she does not behave in the childish way that Jennifer Lawrence does ( I am not talking about her movies but her in real life) ?

    Reply
  39. Lorena Castillo Post author

    Or when you are in line in confession, and someone is confessing like Chavela. Tells a story and takes long. And in the end is not even a sin…

    Reply
  40. nananana presence Post author

    hahaha i am an atheist in a middle-eastern country and find these hilarious.

    Reply
  41. Jaล›mina Dymek Post author

    Writing your sins down before going to church, then deciding to not use the list and looking at it after the confession and realizing there is this single one sin…

    Reply
  42. Lazein Tun Post author

    good job, ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘I will share it with my kids. thank you.

    Reply
  43. True2Live Post author

    I died and went to heaven and then came back after he disguised his voice by doing a smeagol impression haha

    Reply
  44. Joshua Alexander Pagliara-Nydam Post author

    Me: steps into confessional
    Also Me: Walks out and immediately remembers a sin that was not confessed

    Reply
  45. Edz 0007 Post author

    Haha…I never thought of praying ahead my penitence to save time. Haha..that's brilliant!

    Reply
  46. black1995beard Post author

    I think I just found my new favorite channel on youtube!

    Reply
  47. rorshakks Post author

    You forgot this question, Doesn't the bible actually teach we can go directly to God thru Christ in the Holy Spirit to confess our sins? Oh wait, the church doesn't teach that and that settles it. Rome:1 God's word: 0

    Reply
  48. Brett Alphonso Post author

    me im like "im the only guy my age in line and the others are all big men and women and a few young ladies my age๐Ÿ˜‰" then im like "aye baby imma see you in heaven doll"

    Reply
  49. Allyson Zaccaglin Post author

    "will he recognize my voice" so true๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  50. New Catholic Generation Post author

    Subtitles are up! Enjoy in addition to the skit! #addedbonus

    Reply
  51. jinkypooh Post author

    Once, during a Penitential Service, my mother was waiting in line, heard Alan M say to Warren L two of the naughtiest altar servers ever talking. While looking at his watch Alan motioning at Mrs S said, "Look at her, she's been saying her penance for ages, I wonder what she did …" Apparently the rocked with laughter.
    It took me over an hour to talk my mother back into the queue to make her Easter Confession!

    Reply
  52. Maria Fernanda Paguada Post author

    The part when he changes his voice is sooo funny!

    Reply
  53. 20alphabet Post author

    Another thing they think… "I hope he doesn't talk this dirty to my little sister!"

    Reply
  54. Bride OfChrist Post author

    1) This is why I do face to face: it keeps me accountable to the sins that I keep repeating.
    2) And I have definitely wondered if I will go to hell if I die while standing in line for confession.

    Reply
  55. Shekinah Ragland Post author

    ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ the end! His voice ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  56. Anais Nin Post author

    Guilt and shame, guilt and shame. Put these people in that loop and they become your prisoner. The only way to break the loop is confession. That is the tool that gives the church control over these people.

    Reply
  57. Richard Post author

    I tried to go to confession yesterday but i heard the priest scolding the penitants and that scared the hell out of me because to me they looked pretty innocent…what would he say to a dirty sinner like me?

    Reply
  58. Ning Ibarreta Post author

    1:06 – 1:16 I didn't know Mr. Bean goes to confession. It should be singular when you go to confession or else the Priest would ask for the second party LOL

    Reply
  59. MICHAEL SHANE REYNOLDS Post author

    what does a CAT HO LIC .. the BROWN EYE

    Reply
  60. Edward Elkins Post author

    You know what i always thought" oh my God are these people really sorry for what they did" God are you going to forgive them", Oh my God what if the priest is one of those gay guys or pedophiles", " This better work or I am not going to be catholic anymore", I should just tell God I am sorry myself", "Somehow I don't think saying 10 our fathers and praying for peace in the world is really going to reconcile me before God", "I can't stand calling these young priests father", ect.

    Reply
  61. Lillian Manuel Post author

    Once I was going to co fashion and I had a cold and was hoarse and I said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been 2 weeks since my last confession." And the priest asked me, "Are you trying to disguise your voice?" I explained that I had a cold and was hoarse and he was like "ok, continue with your confession"

    Reply
  62. Jordan Horvath Post author

    This is my favorite can't stop laughing great

    Reply
  63. Anastasia Wasylinko Post author

    Gollum going to Confession is something that I never knew I needed!
    New Catholic Generation + Lord of the Rings = perfection!

    Reply
  64. Trang Son Post author

    I had series of bad priests. I didnโ€™t know until now. I always ask them why. Why are you touching me? Why you want me to sit on you? Why there is no veil between me and you during confession? What was that in my Eucharist? I had one priest told me my penance was go Christmas Shopping for my family instead of saying X numbers of Hail Mary or Our Father. Perhaps pray the whole Rosary. Pray That Our Heavenly Father Tweak Out All These Demons That are Wearing Priest Habits. Please Pray For Me To Stand Up To The Living Satans.๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ

    Reply
  65. teresa adamik Post author

    How to list my sins in such a way that the bad ones won't look so bad. If I have a long list and put the bad one first, then by the time I get to the end the priest might have forgotten what I said at the beginning. Avoiding sins wasn't about not offending God, it was all about not committing what I didn't want to confess to the man behind the screen, especially if I couldn't go to a priest who didn't know me. Confession the catholic way couldn't have been more unspiritual in my life as a catholic. The only honest way to confess sins in humble repentance is to go to God's throne of grace. (Mary is NOT the throne of grace).

    Reply

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