Tag Archives: catholicontrast

Why Catholics Shouldn’t Eavesdrop

Renée: I mean, things have been pretty interesting with Trump running for president and all…. Joe: Wait, he’s running? Renée: Uh, yeah. Do you live under a rock? Joe: Yes, actually! *Joseph say whaaaaa??* Joe: What? You know, the “ROCK of the Church?” David: So I hear you consecrated leavened bread at your summer camp?… Read More »

How to Study the Catholic Way

[David is your narrator today!] #1) Your study area must have you SURROUNDED with religious articles. #2) Have your laptop covered with EVERY kind of religious sticker possible! #3) Splash your books with holy water EVERY time before using them. #4) You must have an EVEN number of pens so that when you set them… Read More »

Things Lazy Catholics Do

Little Joe: You know Mom wanted us to say grace.. Little Renée: Ohhh, right okay! *together* GRACE!!!! *Mom from in the kitchen* I heard that! Do it properly! Little Joe: Dang it! Friend: Hey, so I hear that you’re Catholic? Renée: That’s right! Friend: Well, I have some questions about the Eucharist. Do you think… Read More »

Things Catholics Think While In Line For Confession

*sighs* I wonder how many rosaries I’ll have to pray THIS time… *frustrated sigh* The DMV is faster than this… If I die right now, will I go to hell?? Does this sin make my soul look fat? There’s something in here about, “the last shall be first, the shall be last!” Oh, no! I… Read More »

Catholic Problems

David: Hey, guys! Renée & Joe: Hey! How’s it going? David: Wait, ham sandwich? Dude, it’s Friday! *volume blares loudly* Joe: Hey, you have a pair of ear buds I can borrow? Renée: Oh yeah, sure. Renée: Knock yourself out. David: No, …no!! Renée: All done with Confession and I feel as light as a… Read More »

How To Shop The Catholic Way

#1) Park as FAR away as you can from from the store so you can offer up your walk as a mini pilgrimage! (and a workout! Gotta get those steps in!) #2) Convert fellow shoppers by osmosis with reverse pick-pocketing! *looking for his grocery list* *how did this get in here?* #3) Only buy the… Read More »