Should you get confirmed in the Catholic Church?

By | September 1, 2019

I’ve gotten emails
from several of you asking whether or not you should go
through with your confirmation in the Catholic Church. Your parents want you to do it, but you
don’t necessarily buy what Catholicism is selling. So, what should you do? First of all,
for those who don’t know, confirmation is basically
tightening your bond with the Catholic Church. It’s a requirement, or a sacrament,
of the religion. You’re supposed to do it
after you hit the age of reason, which the Catholic Church
says could be as young as 7. Which is really when you hit
your peak logical reasoning skills. So what happens
if you don’t believe in God? Should you go through with it?
The nice thing about this is if you’re an atheist, you know
it’s really just a waste of your time, at worst. I mean, it doesn’t really
mean anything to you. But I know, no one wants to go
through a ritual like that when you know
it’s all bullshit. Here’s the biggest question
I’d consider: How are your parents
going to react if you don’t go through with it? If they’re going to make
your home life a living hell, I don’t think it’s worth taking
a principled stand on this issue. Just bite your tongue
and deal with it. If you have to live with them
for years to come, why make it worse? You could fight them on it and you’ll feel good about
doing that in the moment. But it may make the road ahead that much more difficult. And here’s another upside
to going through with it: When you go through confirmation, firmly believing
that God doesn’t exist, it kind of makes you
a stronger atheist. You realize that this is all a big show.The church doesn’t
have any real power over you. And in the future
you’ll be able to talk about that from experience.
That’s important. Same thing with CCD classes. I mean,
if your parents are making you take those it’s kind of like a crash course
in the religion. You realize just how much nonsense
is baked right into the faith. You can almost
make a game out of it figuring out how many of the things
you’re hearing in class are just patently untrue. And later on, when you’re independent
and living on your own, then you can make that decision to
officially resign from the Catholic Church, or just stop showing up. I would love to say you should all
take a stand and refuse to get confirmed. I mean, I know that’s
the inspirational thing to say. But there’s a reality here
that we can’t just ignore. This isn’t just about you. This isn’t just your decision. This is about putting on
a show for your parents, their relatives, their friends,
and the entire church community. It’s the same reason some couples
might have a big wedding, even though they’d be perfectly happy
just saving money and getting eloped. The last thing I want to see is a young atheist
get financially cut off from her family just as she’s about to live on her own,
or go to college, because she didn’t play
the religion game. There are times when we all have to decide
which battles are worth fighting for. I just don’t think that
for most young atheists this one is worth it. Now, I’d love to hear from those of you
who have been in this exact situation. What did you do? And do you think my advice
is right or wrong? Let us know
in the comments below. My name is Hemant Mehta
and I write at What do you want to see
a video about? Let us know in the comments below
and we’ll be sure to check it out. And don’t forget to subscribe.

100 thoughts on “Should you get confirmed in the Catholic Church?

  1. #DeZmond# Post author

    hi iam an Indian and an atheist like u. I like Ur videos very much. most of Ur videos against Christianity. But the place where I live, is full of Hindus. can u jst help me out by making a video on the hindus (I mean against their foul reasonings and fake beliefs). thanks in advance

  2. Suzanne Lindsey Post author

    Honestly, my Confirmation at age 8 was the straw that broke the camel's back. After that hippocrasy I slowly backed out of the church. My mom let me quit Sunday school and I started only going to church on the major holidays until I left for college. I'm glad my parents didn't make it difficult for me.

  3. Xxsad_boiXx Post author

    I've got a question for us atheist it may be stupid but I still wanna ask …… do u think we atheists should have to stand for he pledge of allegiance since it says one nation under god

  4. Mads Mariager Post author

    in my country (Denmark) we have alot of non-firmations as well, essentially the same as confirmations with presents etc celebrating the choice they made.
    its not as common as confirmations, i reckon only about 10 % opt for it. either way our population is largely non- religious religious people, meaning we go to confirmations burials and weddings and that's the extent of our church goers. and a big % of those wouldn't call themselves religious.

  5. Marycarmen Portillo Post author

    For someone who's an "atheist" you sure know a lot about God

  6. Simon O'Brien Post author

    Should atheists say RIP about someone when they die, even though they know that their not in a heaven or an afterlife?

  7. oozaru Post author

    hi. i just watched your video on pope francis. as a pole i kind of share a national pride of pope john paul ii so i would like to know what did he said or did that you find wrong. in poland it is hard to speak ill of him due to his role as a spiritual leader of anti-communist movement so i would like to hear from an impartial source.

  8. Doggo Post author

    My mom and her side of the family are very Catholic. It would be hell for me if they know I'm atheist, so I just stay quiet about it..

  9. MrShaiya96 Post author

    Why is this Indian allowed to talk about religion to 1st world aryan white folks? Trying to fit in, but failing.

  10. Christopher Quintanilla Post author

    I'm forced to go to confirmation classes and I could possibly stop going if I ask but I see my mom doing some shit to piss me off. As of now I think I'll just show I have no interest in it to my teacher by not doing any of the work and all that shit and play some fucking Pokémon red on my phone xD

  11. Anna I Oop— Post author

    I want you to do a video about how you will escape going to hell considering all the people you're leading there. You know, I almost feel bad knowing how much you will suffer there. But at the same time, I feel you deserve it. I'm surprised God can still love someone like you. After all his people you have misled into atheism. Some sins, are bigger than other sins. Other punishments in hell, are worse than some punishments in hell. Yours will be horrible if you don't stop this "TheAthiestVoice" bullshit. Cut it out. You know God is real, and yet want to undermine people's belief in him so much. He loves you, and you hate him. You are truly pathetic. Repent now, and love God with all your heart. Or burn in hell, and soon be casted into the lake of fire.

  12. Kulin Robertson Post author

    I should get a sweet tea instead of a lemonade huh? thanks

  13. Lumrodger Post author

    What are your opinions on true communism. not the government systems like Cuba, China, and the Soviet Union, but the theory that everyone should share the wealth of the state. And do you think that it is possible that a true communist state could exist?

  14. Erika Binroth Post author

    I went through with it just because, it's like graduating. No one wants to really be there, but you just do it so your mom can put up the picture. It's really not that bad, and I found other kids in my class that didn't believe in it either. It's really no big deal. Take his advice, if it seems easier o just go through with it, out on a smile and do it. My favorite part was picking out my new name!

  15. Jonathan Leopard Post author

    The atheist voice, can you do a video on end time prophesies? Specifically from the Bible and how they are debunked.

  16. TheCommunistDragon Post author

    I got an idea for a video discussion,what would happen if an Atheist was elected President?
    How would they be sworn in and what would you think the public's reaction would be.

  17. umair mohammed Post author

    people I just want to say a few words here that not against anyone or any religion… okay if you really want to find the true path in life don't go looking in the wrong places… seriously the most authentic way is the way of islam and the true way of islam not the way that people hijacked… I mean if you do research you will find out that the most authentic writings is the writing of the quran and that is the word of God… I promise you on the life of everyone I know that that book has not been altered from when it was revealed to prophet mohammed until today and if you check other books and including Aethism you will find out its man made and we all know man was created weak and we make 80 % of the time mistakes and most of all arrogant and try to follow our own ways …. thanks to all and GOD guide all of you Ameen

  18. Invictus Viena Post author

    PLease Do what is after death+why so many clinical death documentaries????????
    Chess Mate Atheist :))

  19. Myron Clark Post author

    ask for an outer body experience and i bet all the money in the world you will believe again sir

  20. Wildcat Records Post author

    Can you try to disprove the existence of God?

  21. Chikaku Mask Post author

    my mom Is fixing to get me a muslim teacher and I'm athiest. what should I do? I won't be able to handle a preach for 5 years

  22. Jesus Rodriguez Post author

    Pray for America to Repent!!!

    Judgement is coming to many nations of the world, but especially to the United States in this final hour. It's already here on a small level to a nation who has turned their backs on God. America is in serious trouble… Great judgements on America has already been revealed and confirmed to thousands of people worldwide from the Lord via dreams, visions, revelations, etc….. ( mega west coast Earthquakes, mega tsunamis on both coasts, mega new Madrid earthquake which will split the land in two, martial law, A serious confrontation with Russia leading to war, etc…..) but we are definitely in the season (times) for these judgements to happen as the signs of the times show so. The time for warning others and to Repent is nearly over, now is the time to be living right with the Lord daily.
    The faithful sons and daughters ( true Christians) have nothing to fear because the Lord will always be with them, provide, and protect them before, during and after the judgements.
    Repent and put your trust in Jesus now if you have not already because time is running out, God will soon cast his vote.

  23. Steve Stanicki Post author

    Being my nephew's confirmation sponsor is why I am an atheist today. In order to be a sponsor, I had to get a letter signed by a local priest, so I had to start going to church, which I did, and even volunteered for their fundraisers etc. I gave it an honest effort. But at the same time, I asked myself "why am I Catholic", so I started studying church history, the Catholic Bible, sitting up front at mass, and listening and paying attention to what was going on. It wasn't all the scandal(s), it was my study of Catholicism and other versions of Christianity that set me down the path of atheism. I will still go to mass when required by family tradition, which is actually more fun as an atheist, because in my head, I am debating with the goings on.

  24. FUS ROH DAH Post author

    Hi athiestic people, random Christian asking questions i want answers for. Don't take these questions as a attack or something offending, im just really curious.

    Do athiest despise the idea a God exist, or do athiest just despise religion? Cause many of you specifically hate Chatholics, Christians, and Islam, basically every religion. But most of you seem to not believe there is a creator, and you go against it. Hence The Big Bang.

    Just wondering, just wanna have the first time ever, a peaceful conversation with some athiest.

  25. Kendalllovesdogsxox Post author

    It's funny how blank the minds of atheists are like honestly I started praying recently and my life is going so much better like c'mon thats gotta mean something

  26. Anthony M Post author

    Damn Gurl! You need to come out of the closet you seem more like a catty bitch than an atheist.

  27. Killer Keemstar Post author

    I started questioning religion and I didn't have my parents approval. They seemed pretty hardcore about religion. When I asked them questions, they said don't questioning religion. I'm scared to relief myself and being relaxed. I even get grounded for not going to church.

  28. RODO125 Post author

    I hate that christians I know (like my religion teacher) always play victim, and talk about how opressed they are, and how they are the minority, ane how atheists are the bad guys who want to take away your beliefs, when in reality is the other way around, and I am forced to take confirmation and sit trough all of his stupid classes where he teaches us how to think, because his beliefs are right and absolute abd no one should contradict them cause all other ideas are wrong.
    So yeah; teacher, definetely you are the victim and I'm the sacry monster with sharp claws and big teeth.

  29. Tomas Spalek Post author

    God Religion and Bible is made to control people… Brain wash them…
    Look at the stupid rules of some religion: Muslims can't show their hair or skin… That's not freedom…
    If God was real .. War's wouldn't exist… World would be better… Stop believing in this religion crap… Just get that that it's all lies to indoctrinate and control people… I have proof that God doesn't exist : Religion has no proof that God exist's but science has proof to everything…

  30. Conor Guthrie Post author

    Today I'm coming out to my ignostic, pagan, and Christian household about my religion, and you've helped me so much with this, I just wanted to say thank you so much, for making these videos, and helping me, and so many others, through this

  31. James Jackson Post author

    I was raised Southern Baptist, and while there's nothing quite analogous to confirmation in that denomination, I did get baptized and never openly admitted to my family that I have since renounced my faith. I go back and forth a few times a year with whether I should admit it, but I always come back to the conclusion that it doesn't matter to me that much. At best, I might feel a little better about myself, but I am certain it will strain my already unpleasant relationships with my parents.

    So, I guess my point is, while it's great to make a stand for what you believe (or don't believe), the great news is that, unlike Christians, we nonbelievers don't have a moral imperative to "defend the non-faith". We can pretend to pray, go along with baptism, mouth the words to hymns, even attend church every Sunday, all while not actually believing it. I will never fault another atheist for "going with the flow" to keep family matters peaceful, and I will always support those who do choose to "go public" at the risk of damaging relationships.

  32. Owen S Post author

    he's right. to any youth out there just bite the bullet and do it. you will learn picking your battles is a big part of adult life

  33. hisxmark Post author

    Actually, I was seven years old, sitting in a Catholic school, when I realized that I was being taught nonsense. (Original sin, vicarious atonement, transubstantiation, miracles … Oh my!) I did know enough to go with the flow, became an altar boy, sang in the choir, and yes, I got confirmed.
    Part of the ceremony, for those who don't know, is to take a "confirmation name", and then the bishop slaps your face, to remind you that you must suffer for the faith.
    Being somewhat of a wit, I chose the name "Jude" the patron of lost causes and hopeless cases. The bishop, in those days, Latinized the name, so he slapped my face and named me, Judas! It was very hard not to laugh.
    I graduated the eighth grade, summa cum laude, and took the medal for my knowledge of the catechism. (I also got the medal for spelling, a skill that has been much more useful.)

  34. Lord Narcisse Post author

    Being an angry atheist is a very time consuming job you know ! I get that you don't believe in God, but I don't get why you keep talking about him and those who believe in him.. Instead of spreading hatred and conflicts, try spreading love and happiness, it's much more fun 🙂

  35. mathew bruce Post author

    This makes me very thankful for having an atheist family

  36. J Roc Em Post author

    I went through that and got confirmed in eight grade but completely denounced Catholicism that summer. Show is over.

  37. Gustavo Holguin Post author

    I had done my confirmation and the reason I had done it was for my mother, I don't believe any of it but I did it out of respect for her. She had done so much growing up, had 3 jobs and worked to the bone for myself and my 2 sisters. My mom was so excited that I was going through with it. She knew I was "questioning my faith" but seeing her smile while it was being done was worth it. I agree with biting your tongue if the reason is right.

  38. veronicats100 Post author

    Putting on a show indeed. This is the religion game in a nutshell. It is all a show, and a really dumb and boring one if you are smart enough to realize there isn't any plot or even a good story. I have to agree with Hemant on this one. Not doing the show and entertaining your parents now might cost you later.

  39. Jose M Castellanos Post author

    yeah I baptized my last baby as an atheist just to show my wife and parents I respect them. But I know this Really doesn't mean anything plus the baby doesn't know what's going on. and since the baby is not aware it doesn't count

  40. Just Random 16 Post author

    Omg bro!! This happened to me and I told my mom that I was an atheist and she got very upset and said "uuuugghh atheist are my worst enemies!!" Omg and I am the only atheist out of everyone and I mean everyone in my family and friends it's soooo crazy and she told everyone how I don't believe in their "God" my all I can say is that I regret NOTHING!!! GO ATHIESTS!!!

  41. Sarah Swanson Post author

    Lmao this is BS. no one in the Catholic Church is confirmed at 7. That's first communion. Some people wait til after high school, but it's mostly 14, 15, 16 year olds. Still a young age, but it's not fucking 7 years old lmfao

  42. Goth Girl Post author

    I went through Confirmation as an atheist,,,big waste of time.

  43. darkmtbg2 Post author

    i only went throuh the confirmation in the protestant church. to get the party and to be somewhat equal to my other friends. … i mostly just slept or thinking of other usefull things while i were at the '"Lesson" i realized how bullshit(to me at least) it all sounded and firmly grabbed me to resist it. i have told my parents i honestly didnt believe in it and more or less said under the party to the closest of my family members. and today my parents(mother and stepdad),(tossed my real father out of my life because of the idiot he was). and chose to resign from the chruch and i feel great about it

  44. Piero Lengua Post author

    my confirmation is in a couple of months lmaoo. im really going to put on a show for my parents and relatives. cant wait to be bonded w god and my lord and savior!!!!!! LMFAOO (sarcasm)

  45. IDK Post author

    You can put Catholicism and the Bible next to each other for eternity, sorry, it will NOT move the guilt and sin to the Bibles account. Pull the attacks on what you actually hate.

  46. Juan Landi Post author

    I'm 12 yrs old and I'm going through confirmation, I'm happy people like u understand me XD

  47. Sam Dierberger Post author

    True Catholic parents would pray for your conversion back to Catholicism, not cut you off as a son/daughter.

  48. Deutsches Kaiserreich Post author

    In Germany we are forced to get confirmed in 3rd class.

  49. Estefania Ospina Post author

    I totally agree with this video 100% because I went through ccc classes and went through confrontation and I was thinking the same thing

  50. rosy perez Post author

    You should learn about what Confirmation truly is before you try to explain it and give advice of what to do with it.

  51. tubs 15 Post author

    daaaam i needed this advice, i'm actually going through this right now. so i'm just going to put up with it till its over. thank you so much!

  52. September Crow Post author

    7? I think you are confusing Confirmation with First Communion.

  53. Liquidated Damages Post author

    I was confirmed in 8th grade – when I was 13 0r 14 I think. I had to go to Sunday school for a while and do some BS community service (raking leaves at the cemetery) and pray (I didn't) along with an awful weekend retreat. I was basically an atheist during that time, only without the knowledge of it. If you do have to go through it, just do the motions and you'll be fine.

  54. Allison Strausbaugh Post author

    I'm one of those unlucky people who had to go through it. Had been going to a Catholic church since I was born and from what I remember, through the CCD classes, first communion, etc., I never believed any of it. My mom, along with her whole family, are strictly Catholic so she made me get confirmed with my sister and a few cousins. That was when I first hinted that I didn't believe and I really did not want to do it, but my mom forced me because she hated the idea of me being an athiest and she was probably afraid of what our very large family would think. I officially made it clear to my parents one day when I really did not want to go to church anymore and they told me I'd have to start paying rent if I didn't go (empty threats). Now I just have to worry about my very religious (luckily not Catholic) future in-laws finding out..

  55. mackdmara Post author

    If your seven, & sure that there is no God, then you really need to look into it. Maybe the Catholic Church is wrong, but you just started looking at the question, "Is God real?". You need to search through a great deal of atheist materials, philosophy, holy texts, & meditate (think) about it. That is a huge burden to put on a seven year old to already have done. But, if you did not, how could you know?

    So ya, go through with. Learn, with intent to understand. If you think it is still not real, you have your entire life to work on it. The very fact that your seven and thinking about it proves it matters to you. You owe it to yourself to arm your mind with Knowledge. Ask questions often, & with intent to find out if it is true. Put nothing on the answer till it is in your hands.

  56. Beth Bartlett Post author

    Why not consider – encouraging the time necessary to allow self intuition to guide one toward spirituality- regardless of faith affiliation –
    Young folks rarely are certain what state of spiritual they are in – or not.

    I'm curious why, the Atheists get so emotional towards those whom "feel the draw and balance of a Faith", if they don't believe, it stands to reason they would be Indifferent- ie (The opposite of love is not hate, it is Indifference)

    As long as, an individual is not judging you – don't judge them, – if it allows one Peace – and there is truly goodness in their Peace – "Let them have their Freedoms"

    Peace be with you –

  57. Connor 02 Post author

    Is doesn't matter as much to go through confirmation as it is to actually believing in the Lord. Confirmation is to let others know you're a Christian… I think…

  58. Illuminate The brain Post author

    I think if there is a god he will let you enter heaven because you deserve it for helping people so much

  59. Milk and Cookies Post author

    I got confirmed because I said that I didn't want to and people started talking shit about me. So just for them to stop, I did it. I wasted my time, because it didn't mean anything to me.

  60. Bryan Torres Post author

    Precisely, I've been forced and registered for the second year of catechism which includes to go through the confirmation. My situation is this: I'm an open atheist to an extend, my parents and some familiars, and friends know that about my beliefs, or lack thereof, but nevertheless, I still have to go to catechism just to make my parents feel better and not to make them feel "sad", I already told them I didn't want to go the next year, but they still registered me.

  61. Clare Bradley Post author

    I was confirmed at 12. I considered telling my parents that I didn't want to do it, but ultimately came to the same conclusion as you, that it wasn't a battle worth having. My parents were tolerant people, so I knew they would never have disowned me, but it would have created a lot of family drama, especially with my grandmother. It was easier to just go through with the meaningless ceremony. I found out many years later that my father had never been confirmed himself and that he had talked his way out of it by claiming they didn't have the money to buy him a new suit for it!

  62. Miguel Bilan Post author

    I had to do it if I wanted to graduate

  63. Tanner VFX Post author

    Don't become Catholic for any other reason that the Catholic faith is true.

  64. John Sartain Post author

    I said I'm athiest at 17, now 18 still homeless

  65. Riley G Post author

    When I was going through the confirmation process, I was just starting to feel more skeptical. I still believed and actually was worried that I was doing the wrong thing by doubting. It was hard because for the mo this leading up to it, I had to work with my sponsor, who was my grandfather, and at the end I had to meet with the priest right before confirmation so he could make sure I was ready.My grandfather took the sponsorship very seriously and had me meet with him separately from church meetings to discuss religion and how I felt. I remember one time crying and telling him I was having doubts. Luckily he was nice about it and let me chill and watch the Music Man.When I met with the priest, I decided it was a good time to ask one main question I was struggling with at the time: why did God have to send Jesus to die on the cross in order for our sins to be forgiven? We talked for a bit and I wasn't really satisfied with his answers in the end but somehow he thought I was fine to go get confirmed. The ceremony wasn't too bad, and if nothing else, the oil they rub on your forehead smelled nice.

  66. Samson Ray Post author

    I had to get confirmed but I totally fought against it up until the day. 14 Years of this BS but I'm finally free from classes. It was like graduating from the school of bullshit.

  67. Unworthy servant Of Christ Post author

    The reason you don't want them to go to confirmation is because you don't want them to be saved smart

  68. Peter Mcnany Post author

    I love this video how to you resign from the catholic church is it easy or hard?

  69. Anthony Stone Post author

    It's atheists like you that need to just shut up the Catholic church is true the Catholic church is great the Catholic church is the one way to happiness the problem is you just don't want happiness so you deny it you do not seek it

  70. ThatRandomPerson 1 Post author

    I'm probably doing confirmation because my parents won't even discuss it with me until its actually about to happen. The aren't forcing me, the just won't talk about it until it happens. I'll just wait for it to come along.

  71. Mauricio Guerra Post author

    I asked questions of my Catholicism that priests could not answer when I was 7 years old.
    But I still went through communion and all the rites although I did not believe in any of it.

  72. ASVP WRLD Post author

    "You can make a game out of it" everyone is entitled to their opinion but theres a difference between opinion and just straight up disrespect you cant call something bullshit just because it doesnt fit your persona this whole there is no scientific proof or facts about god and etc is ridiculous if you believe in something and it makes you feel good and it gives you relief because you have a feeling someone all powerful is looking after you then believe in it because it's very likely that will help you be emotionally stronger and all in all a better person im not saying join so and so religion or believe in such but everyone should believe in something that will keep then pushing foward no matter what t is you believe in

  73. ASVP WRLD Post author

    All of you people saying "atleast i got presents and money " shows how empty and hollow minded you are and why you are aethist

  74. Jo Jo Post author

    I have a confirmation mass in an hour to attend for about 3 hours of the bishop confirming everyone. I had to attend two years of confirmation classes before getting confirmed. Do I want to get confirmed? No, my parents didn't even sit to ask me if I wanted to get confirmed. They just rushed me into it so that they can live knowing they did their part as a Catholic parent of 'guiding' their child in their religion so they can live without fear of sin. Lmao.. sorry to say but they failed. Confirmation is a show and you belong to a traditional Catholic family and dare speak against it, you'll get forced into it anyways as long you're under their roof. I can't wait to defile my religion in front of the bishop after getting confirmed haha. This entire religion is a joke.

  75. Daniel Elvis Atwater Post author

    You’re gonna ask an atheist if you should be confirmed ? What do you think his answer would be…? Lmao what a biased source to ask

  76. Saint Brendan Post author

    >when you know it's all bullshit
    based on what? arrogance, that's what.

  77. Pax Aboll Post author

    I was confirmed Catholic at age 14, but I decided I didn't believe in God about age 8. I was an altar boy, so I did it, but I refused to memorize any catechisms. They Confirmed me anyway.

  78. Jules Ortega Post author

    I was confirmed at 11… guess i had hit the age of reason?

  79. Giulia Lana Post author

    Could you do a similar video but about having a religious wedding when you or your partner (or both) are atheists?

  80. Olivia Asche Post author

    My mom doesn’t know I’m atheist yet… my does not care at all but my mom is catholic and she’s gonna make me go to faith formation (Sunday school) and I REALLLLLLY don’t want to. She seemed sorta happy that I’ll be confirmed next year but the real problem is my grandma she’s hella religious and she wants to “Sponser” me in confirmation so I suffer through it or I tell both of them which will make me the only atheist in my family except my dad but like I have lots of close cousins and idk what I’m trying to get at but I feel like my grandma will be mad or sad 😗

  81. castroy64 Post author

    You’re an atheist. What do you care about the Catholic Church? You’re a bit of a busy body. Aren’t you?

  82. Kristiana de Leon Post author

    I was a confirmed Lutheran, and Lutheranism kept a lot of that part of Catholicism regarding confirmation of baptism. During confirmation I was at a really conservative and almost Evangelical-style church in terms of beliefs. I questioned the pastor a lot but that was the bunny slopes of questioning a religious leader and too easy. At the time I still kept my faith because I was able to shrug off the ignorant political parts about things like (at the time) the Iraq War and the election of GW Bush (or any leader) as somehow being the Will of God, and strong stances against marriage equality. They let me "pass" and I went through the motions of the confirmation ceremony. It was obvious manipulation and as a result, at the time it was like being able to tell apart the clothing from the person – dress up a religion however, but at the time I saw the "purity" of a kind and loving god being dressed up to suit a political agenda (pun intended).
    My family was proud because their biggest thing then was that I'd get confirmed. But when my family moved us to a more progressive church AFTER confirmation, that's when my realization started that I just passing off my questioning as "that's just a misinterpretation." When I finally got to talk with intellectual, compassionate, and progressive religious leaders about the issues that caused me to question my faith – namely mental health issues like depression ("why would a kind and loving god let people be unhappy for no reason but biology?"), when I discovered and asked about how much of Christian history was whitewashed and politically motivated (I read medieval texts because I was precocious and reflected on how much art and how many churches throughout Europe and its colonized locations were really more shrines to the political and economic figureheads who built/commissioned them to exert more power), and at what point all of these "metaphorical" stories like in Genesis were nothing more than helpful fairy tales meant to teach a community like the Jewish people a practical moral lesson, like any other mythology that we now see as nothing more than a pantheon of fun Halloween costume ideas. I was in deep depression when I realized I could no longer push off my doubts any longer, and I feared more than anything being an atheist. To boot, these pastors and other church leaders were amazing and get five stars for how they respected my crises of faith. In a way, it really showed how much I couldn't believe, as now it was no longer a matter of people who got it "ideologically wrong," it was a matter of well-intended, wise people who seemed to be knowingly doing mental acrobatics to justify a "god beyond comprehension." Because really, in addition to all other forms of human suffering, why depression and anxiety? What kind of loving god just lets people be miserable? My family still thinks it was this conservative church that confirmed me destroyed my faith, but paradoxically, it was when I was at a church that celebrated "thinking critically" and that welcomed questioning, open-mindedness, and struggling that I guess I saw the light, or at least finally and after years of grappling, was able to finally say a la Jean Luc Picard "THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!"

  83. Ava Baumann Post author

    It’s either stay quiet and get some confirmation gifts or speak up and well idk. But im going to speak up. I don’t want to feel guilty. I want a true relationship with God.

  84. Wednesday's Child Post author

    IMO I think getting all the sacraments should be done when a child is a baby. The sacraments work by working. A person is a catechumen from birth. If they decide to reject, then they reject, but I gave them the best chance.

  85. None Post author

    Wherever the bishop appears, let the congregation be there also. Just as, wherever Jesus Christ is, there is the Catholic Church. It is manifest, therefore, that we should look upon the bishop even as we would look upon the Lord Himself, standing, as he does, before the Lord. As therefore the Lord did nothing without the Father, being united to Him, neither by Himself nor by the apostles, so neither do ye anything without the bishop and presbyters. Be ye subject to the bishop as to the Lord, for 'he watches for your souls, as one that shall give account to God.' In like manner, let all reverence the deacons as an appointment of Jesus Christ, and the bishop as Jesus Christ, who is the Son of the Father, and the presbyters as the Sanhedrin of God, and assembly of the apostles. Apart from these, there is no Church. See that ye all follow the bishop, even as Jesus Christ does the Father, and the presbytery as ye would the apostles; and reverence the deacons, as being the institution of God. He who honors the bishop has been honored by God; he who does anything without the knowledge of the bishop, does [in reality] serve the devil. Give ye heed to the bishop, that God also may give heed to you. Be ye subject to the bishop, to the presbyters, and to the deacons.” St. Ignatius of Antioch, "Epistle to the Smyrnaeans," c. 105 A.D.

    "The church of God that sojourns at Smyrna, to the church of God sojourning in Philomelium – and to all of the congregations of the holy and Catholic Church in every place." St. Polycarp, "The Martyrdom of St. Polycarp," c. 135 A.D.

    "Our Lord Jesus Christ is the Savior of our souls, the Governor of our bodies, and the Shepherd of the Catholic Church throughout the world." St. Polycarp, "The Martyrdom Of St. Polycarp," c. 135 A.D.

    "The house of God is one, and there can be no salvation to anyone except in the church." St. Cyprian of Carthage, "Letter 61," c. 250 A.D.

    "There is no salvation outside of the church." St. Cyprian of Carthage, "Letter 72," c. 250 A.D.

    "The Catholic church is one." St. Victorinus, "Against Arius," c. 280 A.D.

    "It is called Catholic then because it extends over all the world, from one end of the Earth to the other; and because it teaches universally and completely one end and all the doctrines which ought to come to men's knowledge, concerning things both visible and invisible, heavenly and earthly; and because it brings into subjection to godliness and the whole race of mankind, governors and governed, learned and unlearned; and because it universally treats and heals the whole class of sins, which are committed by soul and body, and possesses in itself every form of virtue which is named, both in deeds and words, and in every kind of spiritual gifts." St. Cyril of Jerusalem, "Catechetical Lectures," c. 350 A.D.

    "Let us note that the very tradition, teaching, and faith of the Catholic Church from the beginning, which the Lord gave, was preached by the Apostles, and was preserved by the Fathers. On this was the Church founded; and if anyone departs from this, he neither is nor any longer ought to be called a Christian." St. Athanasius, "Four Letters to Serapion of Thmuisc," c. 360 A.D.


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