Dylan Moran on catholic protestants and biscuits (Like Totally) rus subtitles

By | September 4, 2019

and I think southern I’d love to be like you cool and calm and unemotional Protestant short it’s a fantastic religion it makes absolutely no demands upon you at all which is why it’s not a great religion all great religions are built on shame you don’t have any of that if you’re Protestant you go to the church to sing a few hymns have a cup of tea everybody goes home and has a wank you see you have the freedom of mind to walk into a room and see a plate of biscuits say and you look at the menu think LaVista plate of biscuits I might have a biscuit I might not I might have one later I might put it in my pocket and give it to somebody else I don’t really mind it’s just a biggie it’s not like that of you’re Catholic you walk in the room you see the plate of biscuits there could be other things going on in the room the room could be on fire it could be full of naked plans killing each other with crossbows this doesn’t matter to you because all you see is the plate of biscuits cuz you think oh no I’m gonna eat them I know I am I’m gonna eat them all no I know I am I’m even walking towards them I wasn’t aware of that but I am now I’ve actually started to eat the biscuits help me out with all the delicious are the same the same oh I can’t tell which is nicer the biscuits are the same it’s a child’s biscuit that’s perfect I don’t deserve a grown-up one with dark chocolate on it oh they’re so nice now they’re all gone the same the same that’s all I’ve got left nothing can make me feel better now except okay on and on and on

35 thoughts on “Dylan Moran on catholic protestants and biscuits (Like Totally) rus subtitles

  1. Snuggles McSquishbottom Post author

    Of course we love drowning in misery and shame. But we also have sort of a "work hard, play hard" ethic, doncha think? We get to drink, dance, and decorate opulently while many Prosties have weird rules around fun. I'd much prefer the drama and romance of totally overdoing it and then confessing all my sinfulness and doing penance than just sort of being mellow all the time. Catholicism FTW!

  2. Susan Buchner Post author

    LOL Nessa, your well thought out reason for not wanting to eat foods that are bad for you, is at the heart of the difference:-) Catholics struggle with the decision, not because the food is "bad" for us — we already know that. We feel guilt over EVERYTHING. That's the catch. Not doing it because of guilt as opposed to "well, it isn't good for you anyway". Consider yourself lucky that you don't feel that constant guilt over your head:-)

  3. Aoife Mae Post author

    Because the Romans conquered most of Europe, got to Ireland thought "Fuck it's cold here" and went home.

  4. Tom Tucker Post author

    Geez – I love Dylan Moran (Black Books especially), but Protestants are *not* laid back unless they're Anglican, generally.

    He should've met some of the hardcore evangelicals I got brought up with – they've got this raving, frothing-at-the-mouth, wild-eyed prophet from the wilderness thing going on.

    The speaking in 'tongues' was particularly scary, as a child.

    Glad I'm atheist now!

  5. Jake Jones Post author

    There was more domination of the English brethern than the Irish. Proof more Roman sites in the U.K. than Ireland.

  6. Jake Jones Post author

    Not much difference in the climate between Ireland and the U.K..

  7. Collin McRae Leix Post author

    I got here through a link from watching a monkey take a bath

  8. Insperato62 Post author

    As Tom Tucker says, the laid back one's are generally the Anglicans.Hilarious because the Dissenters (let alone Evangelicals) accuse us (CoE) of having "inherited Catholic guilt".Ha ha.Well, we eat bickies by the plateful, we drink alcohol (what is this Ribena communion thing with the Methodists!!!*), we go home for a big fat lunch, we even do the other "thing". When Romans slag us, Dissenters consider us Roman & Evangelicals know we're to going hell – there's no point in guilt.Roll with it:)))

  9. Redemptionn310 Post author

    Do I have to install the virus manually or does it automatically destroy my computer?.

  10. DizzyFromShirbert Post author

    Talk about/make fun of Catholics and Protestants, people laugh. Make fun of Islamic religion, get sued, in deep poo and gets hate.

  11. Yes Box Post author

    "Boxes solvency conveys the family. Recorded from his own drugs, and this is ninety seven. Surfaces such as that says it's not specified for Ricardo, a desirable grown-up one with down syndrome."

    Youtube caption-subtitle is the strangest thing I've ever witnessed.

  12. Lamashtar Post author

    I tried that once because I'm hard of hearing. It was a video about dairy cows and the captions kept talking about Nazis and Satan and I had to wonder if someone at Youtube was pranking us..

  13. Patty Walker Post author

    Shit like that happens on youtube…People's Court is staring me down in my recommended videos, and I'm probably gonna watch that next.

  14. Tracymmo Post author

    I was raised Catholic, and I liked an explanation about the differences I once read. Catholicism is sensual — worship includes making the sign of the cross with water on your fingers, smelling incense, smelling candles burning, hearing the music, holding rosary beads, seeing colorful artwork and windows, tasting bread and wine. Protestant worship is more cerebral.

  15. nativepangea Post author

    His rhythm and delivery reminds me a lot of Bill Cosby and Robin Williams.

  16. Chris Post author

    rofl this is so true. i was raised catholic from 0 to like 13 and even now at 30 its still true lol.

  17. Chris Post author

    because catholicism tied itself into pagan worship and symbolism and the celts understood it.

  18. Max Pollard Post author

    Wow this explains why I feel so guilty about eating at other peoples houses.

  19. Insperato62 Post author

    Ha ha. Nearly right. I'm Church of England which, last time I looked, was Protestant. But I was once at an interchurch gathering and a Methodist "spat" at me about my "inherited Catholic guilt". Just can't win! Guess she was feeling pretty pissy cos Charles Wesley never left the CofE.

  20. John O'Connor Post author

    and we are even more guilty now because the polish pope is dead, the german pope is alive and now there is a brazilain pope; totally nuts all the nuts come from brazil. Oh is this about guilt? and I thought that I was a practising catholic…guilt guilt for just having posted this, oh the guilt

  21. Yu Lee Ahn Post author

    here is some more guilt on your plate… the pope is argentinian

  22. Phil Dickinson Post author

    This is painfully funny. Such a serious truth embedded in this routine. Nothing has been more damaging to my own psyche over the years than my Catholic upbringing.

  23. Lee McDaid - Guitar Post author

    @Commander Shepard – Are you Bavarian by any chance?

  24. Georges Almond Post author

    I have just eaten a whole packet of chocolate chip cookies that I knew were a bad idea. Damn you, Jesus!

  25. Kathryn Pitt Post author

    Dylan Moran is perhaps the greatest comedian of our time 😂 😂


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